An open letter to the Pittsburgh Steelers
What happened? Seriously. What happened? Is it the massive injuries we have had on defense (Polamalu, Smith, & Hampton)? The fact that Big Ben gets sacked eleventy billion times a game? Is Tim Donaghy refing all of the games? I don't know. Losing to Kansas City was bad. They are a bad team. Losing to Oakland was also bad. They are a bad team. Losing to the Browns was unacceptable. WE ARE THE BAD TEAM!
Our special teams looks more like special ed. Our defense holds their ground like a strainer holds water. Our offense ... wait ... I don't remember. It's been a long time since we had one. I guess I'm glad that we don't have the NFL network, so I couldn't watch the game. Gamecast just isn't the same.
I had to console myself last night by burning the Steelers on facebook.
Here are some status updates:
- From Super Bowl champs to getting beat by the trio of AFC crappy teams. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2010 Pittsburgh Steelers.
- Got a text message from Mike Tomlin. I'm starting at DB next week, even with a ruptured patellar tendon.
- thinks the Steelers couldn't beat Schenley High School (that was my high school)
- heard the Rooneys just called Carnell Lake to see if he had any game left.
- thinks Ike Taylor couldn't cover bread if his nickname was Jelly.
- today, the Steelers going for it on third down was the mistake by the lake
- Myron Cope is double yoi-ing in his grave.
- Big Ben was on his back tonight more than Jenna Jameson.
- didn't realize that Dick LeBeau hired Stevie Wonder to be his defensive backs coach.
- who do the Steelers think they are for losing to Cleveland tonight? The Pirates?
- if the 2006 season was a Super Bowl hangover, then this season has to be a Super Bowl slept-with-a-whore-and-caught-something
- thinks the Steelers should sign LeBron James.
- Life Alert couldn't help the Steelers after they have fallen this far and can't get up.
- is done with his Josh Cribbs impression of burning the Steelers. Try the veal & tip your server. Good night
Don't get me started on the crappy Bulls or Pitt Panthers either...
Stupid sports.
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